Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i out mim tonsoeep
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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