oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
