in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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