Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my phone needs a breathalizer
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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