I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
