im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
