you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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