i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
