shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
