I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
