WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just high enough for therapy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
