Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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