I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
