We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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