this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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