When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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