This girl is more easily done than said...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
