Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
