Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
