shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
