Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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