I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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