Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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