I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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