Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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