we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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