yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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