Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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