I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
