Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
