I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
