Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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