areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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