ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokรฉmon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
