I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
