I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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