that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
