the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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