OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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