its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
