If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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