With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
