Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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