oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
