Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
