We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
