if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
