nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
