i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He passed out mid-signature
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
