I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
