My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
