Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
