I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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