Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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