He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
