i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
